Mass alert!

 

As you know, I'm a Catholic Apologist. 

Sorry.

No, I mean it, sorry for making missing mass on a Sunday a Mortal Sin.

Who made up that silly rule?

I think it's time to review the Ten Commandments.

1) You shall have no other gods before Me.

Sorry God but there are actually a lot of gods to choose from. People in other countries feel just as strongly about their god. Let's change this one to...

1) Go with your own god, if you have one.
2) You shall not make for yourself a carved image.

Okay, there is nothing really wrong with carved images, say of a beautiful girl or your dog or cat.

2) Carving is quite a good skill to have.
3) You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.

This one actually has a spelling mistake. The last word should be vino.

A bad translation from Italian.

3) Do not name your wine Gsus.
4) Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

This one is telling you that there are holes in the Sabbath day.

4) Fill those holes with putty. You don't need them.
5) Honor your father and your mother.

This one is true to a point.

5) Listen to mum and dad or, at least, pretend to.
6) You shall not murder.

This one is okay as it is.

6) You shall not murder.
7) You shall not commit adultery.

This one probably depends on a lot of things.

7) Think before you screw around.
8) You shall not steal.

Yep, another good one.

8) You shall not steal.
9) You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

This one really depends on what your neighbour is like.

9) Not all neighbours are the same. Some may tell you to practise your violin in a shed. Ignore them.

10) You shall not covet.

This means to yearn to possess something belonging to another. 

10) Cover things that are outside when it is raining.

* * *

Well, I think that covers the 10 Commandments.

Enjoy the rest of your day.